Hope After Rape Conception

HopeAfterRapeConception.org

“I was adopted nearly from birth. At 18, I learned that I was conceived out of a brutal rape at knife-point by a serial rapist. Like most people, I’d never considered that abortion applied to my life, but once I received this information, all of a sudden I realized that, not only does it apply to my life, but it has to do with my very existence. It was as if I could hear the echoes of all those people who, with the most sympathetic of tones, would say, ‘Well, except in cases of rape… ,’ or who would rather fervently exclaim in disgust: ‘Especially in cases of rape!’

“All these people are out there who don’t even know me, but are standing in judgment of my life, so quick to dismiss it just because of how I was conceived. I felt like I was now going to have to justify my own existence, that I would have to prove myself to the world that I shouldn’t have been aborted and that I was worthy of living. I also remember feeling like garbage because of people who would say that my life was like garbage — that I was disposable.”

These are the words of Mrs. Rebecca Kiessling, who recently spoke in Rock Springs to a crowd of over 300. She is a nationally-known speaker and a co-founder of HopeAfterRapeConception.org, an organization focused on supporting women who have conceived as a result of rape and advocating legislation to protect them.

It’s not hard to understand why. When your very existence hangs in the balance, a person tends to become focused and passionate. 

Rebecca’s story is not unique. Congress found that rape-related pregnancy occurs approximately once for every 20 rapes. That translates to over 32,000 people per year conceived as a result of rape. For these women and for the children they carry, how we support them speaks volumes about how we value them as human beings. 

If they take it personally, we all should. Once we consider these women and children as innocent victims, we cannot help but care about them as persons. It is only so long as they remain abstract statistics that society can turn a blind eye to their plight.

Many people assume that these 32,000 women would want only to abort the children conceived in rape. But, perhaps surprisingly, that is not the case. Congress found that nearly 75 percent of these women carry the children to term. Studies also suggest that an even higher number would like to do so if we would only support them better.

Rape is a terrible thing. It is violence against a woman’s person at the very core of her womanhood. Nobody with a heart would want any woman to suffer one iota more from rape than she has already suffered. On that we can all agree. 

Before she even considers the status of the child, she must also ask if she herself will suffer more by giving birth, or by undergoing an abortion? The woman faced with this terrible choice should not be denied the facts. Real data and real answers are critical. She needs good advice and she needs it now. But where are such answers to be found? 

To date, there is only one clinical study that has reached out to real women who faced a rape pregnancy and listened to their stories. The Elliot Institute in Illinois has conducted a follow-up survey of women who were impregnated by rape or incest. The results of their study help to explain why so many women choose to carry the child to term.

They found that no victim of rape who carried her child to term regretted her choice. But many of those women who underwent an abortion felt additional trauma. Especially in the instance of incest, these findings are important. Incest is a particularly evil form of rape. It is often ongoing, and enabled by secrecy and family power structures. Women who suffer from it are further victimized by the secrecy surrounding it.

When it results in pregnancy, she is afforded the opportunity of breaking the unbearable silence. For this reason, it is rarely the victim of incest who wants an abortion, but the perpetrator. By it he can deny the consequence of his actions and continue the power dynamics of silence. He can also use the specter of a prolonged custody battle intimidate her into aborting.

For the sake of our sisters who suffer in silence, we should not perpetuate the silence. Our laws can and should be structured to give her a real choice and to strip her tormentor of the tools of power he uses to perpetuate the abuse. 

This is not a political issue. No matter how you feel about Roe v. Wade, we should all want the victims of rape to have every available remedy for their situation. If Wyoming would enact laws which support the victims of rape and incest, we would be helping both the children so conceived, and the women who are victims of this powerless situation.

For this reason alone, it would be beneficial to change our laws. Current Wyoming law allows a rapist to sue for custody rights in order to avoid paying child support. For the victim of rape or incest this is a horrifying reality. Oftentimes against her own desires, she will opt for abortion in order to prevent the intolerable situation of dealing with her rapist for the rest of her life.

Many states have already passed laws to prevent this situation. It is high time that Wyoming joined them. The Rape Survivor Child Custody Act (H.R. 1257), was signed into federal law in June 2015. It offers just the kind of help that Wyoming women need. 

Introduced by a broad coalition of legislators, ranging from Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, D-Fla., to Mimi Walters, R-Calif., this legislation encourages states to address this problem. It offers federal money for combatting violence against women to states that pass legislation to protect the victims of rape and incest from perpetrators who would later sue for custody of the child. 

Let’s build a coalition beginning in Evanston to change Wyoming law and give both women and children a chance. Join me in encouraging your representative and senator to sponsor Wyoming’s own version of the Rape Survivor Child Custody Act. Together we can make a real difference.

If you, or someone you love, have conceived as a result of rape, there is hope and help available. Contact Rebecca Kiessling at HopeAfterRapeConception.org. Not only will you receive sound support and help, you will also have the opportunity to help others. Nothing is more empowering than that.