We are social creatures, built for community. Community, in turn, depends on communication. In fact, both community and communicate are formed from the Latin prefix “com,” (meaning,“together”) and the root “uni,” (meaning “one”). A community is created out of many people together becoming one, and it is can be created only by communication.
Therefore, whatever fosters communication fosters community, and what hurts communication hurts community.
Recently, I was going through some old things and stumbled across a speech I gave in this community over nine years ago. It was the inaugural meeting of “Conversations on Christ.” Over two dozen people gathered at the Howard Johnson’s to talk about talking.
I said: “I believe that the best correction will come from within--from each one of us taking careful assessment of his or her own self. As each of us is drawn into the conversation and becomes eager to address contemporary problems we will find the honesty and courage to examine and criticize ourselves. That is where growth into Christ and unity under Christ's word will be fostered. I believe that each of you loves Jesus and has the personal integrity to benefit from this opportunity without need of harangues or diatribes. In fact, these would be counterproductive to our high purpose.”
That project, begun nine summers ago, led me gradually from conversations with other churches, to seeking out constructive conversations with the entire community. Eventually, it led to this weekly column, Only Human.
What I spoke that day, I still believe. Then, I spoke in terms of Christ and Christ’s word. But the same is true of every person and every word. Unity is fostered by people who love each other, together searching for the truth. It does not come by harangues or diatribes, but by honest and courageous self-examination.
No matter how deep the disagreements are, a conversation can only begin if you think of the other person as a full human being. That means, at least two assumptions: First, that people have integrity, that is, are truthful in their speaking. Second, that they love all people as much as you do.
When we don’t believe these things about somebody, communication breaks down. Spouses no longer talk, but shout. Friendships are strained and broken. Communities are
divided.
But the temptation to deny these two assumptions can be strong. Oftentimes, we will be unable to reconcile a person’s words in one sentence with his words in another. When that happens, it is easy to question his or her integrity, and communication breaks down.
There’s a better way. Instead of assuming a lack of integrity, we can ask for help in reconciling the two statements. In that way the conversation goes forward, understanding is increased, and goodwill is re-affirmed. This way of listening is helpful for keeping peace in the home, church, and community.
The same is true when reading ancient books. While no one cares about self-contradictory authors, we are often profoundly challenged by reliable authors who only seem contradictory, but are not.
Leviticus 19:18 is a good example. “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” is quoted as much by believers in the Scriptures as by those hostile to Biblical values. When used to criticize Biblical values, it is most often in reference to a passage found only a few verses earlier.
Leviticus 18 prohibits several sexual crimes most of which are still unanimously condemned. But one prohibition, no longer universally condemned, has become a reason to accuse the Author of Leviticus and anyone who still agrees with Him as a hater. At one and the same time, His integrity and His charity is questioned. Is that fair? Is it at least possible that love itself motivates the Author to warn against self-harm?
To assume the Author of Leviticus to be either hateful, or self-contradictory does not treat Him with either integrity or love. The better way to “love your neighbor as yourself” is to seek the deeper harmony by assuming both integrity and love.
Let’s start by considering the word, “neighbor.” This word includes every single human being with whom you will ever come in contact. There are no exceptions. We are to love them because God loves them. You may ask, “How can I know that God loves them?” The answer is simple: they exist. Nobody can live unless God gives them life. So, the very fact that people are alive means that God wants them to be alive.
And that puts them in a very special place. This is true of everybody you know, from the president to the embryo. Because God has given them life, he expects you to love them. It is the God-like thing. Human beings are created to love as God loves, because we are created in God’s image.
What, then, is love? It starts in the heart. It is a sincere and unbreakable desire for a person’s well-being. It is to renounce every desire to use a person for your own personal gain, and think only of his or her interests and needs.
Love concerns itself with your neighbor’s physical well-being, his mental well-being, his emotional well-being, and his spiritual well-being. That, after all, is how God loves you. He is bent on your total well-being.
Every drop of rain, every snowflake, every ray of sunshine was created for you. Every meal you are given, every person in your life, every breath of air, every beat of your heart is a gift of God for your well-being. Every word of encouragement, every word or warning, every word of instruction, every word of forgiveness is a gift of God for your well-being.
“If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11). That means that we are charged by God to take an interest in the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of every conceivable person. Then, we are to take care of him or her with our energy, our goods, our words, and our prayers.
This is a high calling, and an impossible task. “When Jesus’ disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, ‘Who then, can be saved?’ But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible’” (Matthew 19:26). Yes, the love of our neighbor and the fostering of community seem impossible tasks. And without God, they are. But with God all things are possible. Even this.
Our community choir sang about this in the words of Abraham Lincoln. They are chiseled in stone at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.: “With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds.”
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